November 24, 2023
Miles Kingston, in a quote made famous by Irish rugby player Brian O’Driscoll, once said, “Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.” This clever and concise differentiation between knowledge and wisdom is most helpful, especially in the space of education.
We, as educators, are fervent pursuers of knowledge. We have read all the books, seen the TED talks, and listened to the podcasts. We have pages of notes and even more pages of ideas. We have attended the conferences and dutifully filled multiple journals. We have, in other words, all the knowledge. Perhaps even too much knowledge. And this can be detrimental to our growth because it can lead to the inability to admit we need help.
Such was the situation I was in without knowing it. Being someone who prides himself on “relentless growth,” I was in pursuit of knowledge solely for the sake of growth. Reading fifty-two books a year, chasing certifications, enrolling in online classes: growth, growth, growth. And yet, this kind of growth, while vibrant and active, is best compared to a garden overrun with weeds.
Lest you think that analogy unfair, consider the growth of a weed—weeds experience explosive growth and flourish even under difficult conditions. Weeds grow quickly and expand to fill available space. Weeds, in other words, are extremely efficient. But they are also unwanted. Weeds are the bane of the gardener’s existence because they suffocate the most valuable plants. They grow without direction and without purpose.
Imagine instead the garden of directed growth, with healthy plants soaring to unimaginable heights and producing a bountiful harvest of nutritious crops. It is this style of growth most of us seek. And this growth can be found most readily through the act of coaching. But the act of eliciting a coach is an act of vulnerability. It means admitting that we are great at collecting the “tools” of knowledge, but we can often use help in developing the “skills” at using these tools. It means admitting, even as we strive to help others, that we ourselves need help.
This was the primary hurdle for me. As someone who is not only an educator but also a coach himself, admitting that I could benefit from coaching required a certain dose of humility. And yet, after overcoming that hurdle and fully embracing the experience of having a coach, I can now look back over the last eight months in amazement at the exponential benefits I have experienced that have manifested in more clearly directed growth and impact than ever imagined.
The key, of course, once admitting the need, is finding a great coach who demonstrates certain key skills. Three of these skills, synthesized expertly by Alex Judd, founder and CEO of Path for Growth, whose mission is directly tailored to coach “impact-driven leaders,” include “relational, curious, and assertive.”
A great coach works to establish a relationship of trust. As leaders, we are often working to establish relationships with others, but a coach comes alongside us to understand our dreams and our goals. We all have dreams and goals, and we all have priorities, but we also live in the whirlwind of the day-to-day and find that the bulk of our time is spent putting out fires. Week after week, we look at our progress and see no forward momentum, no directed growth.
Once establishing a relationship, a great coach’s curiosity can help us direct our focus by asking important questions. Judd likens this role of the coach to a surgeon whose scalpel of questions will carefully cut the answers out of the person rather than give the answers. These carefully curated questions (“Where are we going?” and “Why do we exist?” and “What do we stand for?”) lead to clarity around mission, vision, and values. Exploring these questions with a third party, walking alongside in a relationship of trust, allows us a safe space as a leader to gain perspective and create accountability.
Accountability is an interesting topic—as leaders, we are often adept at holding other people accountable, but rarely do we find people trustworthy enough to hold us to the same standard. Thus, the role of the great coach. With assertiveness, our coach not only supports us on the journey but also prods us to make progress toward the vision. We’re not talking about someone who is going to jump in and run the marathon for us—we will still have to put on the shoes and step into the race. But our coach will make sure we have trained and prepared and are ready, and when the race begins, our coach will be on the sidelines cheering us along. They will also be at the finish line to celebrate and then immediately start preparing us for the next race.
Personal growth guru Jim Rohn famously encourages people to work harder on themselves than they do on their jobs. The line of thinking follows that by working on ourselves, we become more valuable, and therefore bring a greater impact to our work. This requires becoming a healthy leader which then requires becoming a healthy person which stems from having the tools of knowledge coupled with the skills of wisdom.
This is precisely what I have experienced from the last eight months of coaching. I’ve grown to become a better husband, a better father, and a better friend in addition to growing into a better program director, better leader, and better collaborator. Perhaps the biggest value-add from the coaching experience has been understanding the fundamentals of making and creating an impact. Long have I touted the desire to make a meaningful impact with my work, but it wasn’t until coaching that I began to understand how to make an impact. I return to Alex Judd who explains that the impact-driven leader “refuses to stay in the same place but commits to the same path.”
This was the “aha” moment for me. Our growth dictates that we change and move and fight against stagnation, but our impact requires that the path remain consistent. We are to be as the Colorado River and commit to forming the Grand Canyon and this only happens through a relentless focus on the path.
Now that I have witnessed the incredible benefits of coaching in my own life, I’ve become an advocate for everyone to experience it. This is to say that you, reader, need a coach. And not just for you, but also for your team. Who are the impact players in your school? Who are your linchpins? Who are the ones who you are willing to invest in to help them become more impact-driven and vision-oriented?
Imagine the following scenario: a school leader commits to coaching with the promise to build toward directed growth and impact. The leader then involves the executive team in coaching and pulls in key teachers and team leads. The mission, vision, and values become more than just statements for a website but become clear directives for a perceived future state. The entire culture of the school begins to make impactful movements while momentum is developed. The school, as a river, refuses to stay in one place but commits to the same path, and the lives of the students are infused with meaningful impact.
Now that’s an investment worth making. And coaching is indeed that—an investment. And investments are driven by potential returns. They are also weighed against cost and whether we can afford to do it. But take it from someone who is reaping the rewards of the coaching experience—you can’t afford not to.
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You may also be interested in reading other articles written by Stephen Carter for Intrepid Ed News.
