June 15, 2022

When my daughter was in ninth grade, she had very little interest in engaging with me. Sure, she was happy to start a conversation about getting her nose pierced but if I wanted to check in about anything related to school or the tennis team, forget it. She wanted to determine what the parameters were for her life: how to manage social issues, keep up with academics, and what extracurricular activities she did or didn’t do. Frankly, it was hard for me to let things go because raising teens today is challenging. With 24/7 access to screens, peers, and entertainment, it’s tough to know if they are making responsible choices, engaging wisely in activities, and staying on top of homework. For me, being responsive instead of being reactive was, and still can be, my greatest challenge. But I have to realize where my guidance ends and where her decisions about her life begin. This is the complicated dance of raising teens. You are responsible for their health, safety, and welfare and they often want more autonomy than they are actually ready for.

Instead of arguments about who is right and who needs to submit, a compromise…